It's all about Perspective

Why is the type like this? Grrrr. Sorry about that.

So, I'm sweeping our front yard this morning because it's all dirt and covered with leaves and blossoms that have fallen from our big orange trees. Because of the blossoms, it literally sounds like a buzzing bee hive as all the bees collect their nectar to make honey. God just loves putting us out of our comfort zones. :)

While I'm doing this, Kya is playing with our next door neighbor's boy. After a while, his mom comes over. She tells me something that is very normal here in Albania, but would be very hard to experience. Her husband has left for Greece for 6 months. He does this every year. Here half the year, gone the other half. He does this to work ad support his family because here it is so hard to find work, especially work that's enough money to live. She has a 3 year old and a 4 month old. I asked her how she goes grocery shopping. She has no help. She's from a village. Normally here in Albania, your mom helps you, but her mom is in her village. They don't have a car like many Albanians don't. She said when the baby's asleep, she runs to the store really fast (literally). I just can't imagine. Obviously, I told her I'd come over and watch the kids while she goes, but I don't know if she'll accept my help. I told her I wanted to take her out for coffee sometime, but she said "Thank you, but no." The reason? Because men go for coffee, not moms. Moms stay at home. She is at home every moment. I told her I saw lots of moms going out for coffee, but I think because she is from a village, those traditions are more ingrained into her about the status of men and women. And sometimes I think I have very few friends and would like to get out a little more. Compared to the States, of course, but here, life is very different. Just try to imagine what that would be like to be trapped in a house with 2 small kids half the year every year with no car, no husband, and no help. We have so much to be grateful for.

So, last month (February) was a challenging month for us. We found out about the death of our good friend Kaulana. She died in a car crash while driving with only her dog. (which barely had a scratch when they found him) This was of course very sudden and unexpected as she was only 31 years old. Jamie and I served with Kelly, her husband, and Kaulana for years at Calvary Chapel Boynton Beach. We knew them very well and it was a privilege and honor to serve alongside them. I, Tim, had the opportunity at the last second to fly to the States for 4 days to attend the funeral service and spend some time with Kelly. I was such a God thing that I was even able to go. Anyways, here are some pics and video from the trip.

This is Kelly sharing at the service. He was holding up amazingly well.




A pic of me sharing. The service was 3 hours long and not one person
that was there could care less. It was a special, special service with the
majority of the time opened up for anyone to share whatever was on
their heart. People came in from not only all over the country but all
over the world. I felt so privileged to have been there.






Most of the people on stage we know well and have served with in
one capacity or another. Two of them are missionaries in different
countries and the came here at the last second as well. Being there
was so surreal and it was like a big reunion and maybe a little bit
of what Heaven might be like. (Minus the sadness and pain)




After the service started, some friends of mine where motioning me
to come up onstage. They wanted me to play some percussion with
the band during the worship set. It was totally unplanned and really
cool to be up there with all of our friends we knew so well but that
I have not seen in so long. (Thanks Tracy for thinking of me!)

It was really nice to get some Starbucks iced coffee! (my favorite)




It was also nice to swing by the beach and walk out on the sand.




Kelly and I met at this Cracker Barrel and talked for a while. I took a
picture because this is the first place that Jamie and I went to with
Kelly and Kaulana about 11 years ago. I believe they were just married
for about a year and Jamie and I were newly engaged. We hit it off
with them right away that night because after we ate we went out
and sat on the rocking chairs for about 4 more hours until midnight
just talking about anything and everything. Good memories.




This is Colby, the dog we had in the States. My aunt Shirley took
him now and he is in good hands now. What a good dog!!

First of all, thank you to everyone who sent advice from my last post. I have pondered much of what all was said! Thank you for praying! It has kind of naturally limited itself in a healthy way. She comes over about twice a week now and asks when to come back. Then, she's been coming back on those days only. I've asked another girl to start having coffee with her sometimes (by your advice, Christina) and had already before asked her for help with cooking (like you said, mom and Rach). She is a good girl and has helped clean up the table after lunch every time without my asking. (I also really appreciated your letters Sherri, Tracy and Dad!)

Well, here I am, talking about the center for gypsy kids again. We just moved into a new place. I'm happy about it. It feels like a new beginning. Maybe a beginning with the smallest speck of hope even. Only God knows.

Here, we're moving the furniture using our car. It was very... interesting. I (Jamie) was there that day and was the driver to take trip after trip with all of the belongings to the new place. The older boys came to help and to my surprise, they were a huge help. They always surprised me by loading the trunk as you see above. I would then tell them that it wouldn't hold the whole way to the new place, then they would continue to prove me wrong by making it secure enough and it held every time. This was kind of a beginning of a change in our relationship. I feel like for the first time, because they were given responsibility for something and could work with their hands, they felt useful and like men, which made them act like men and with respect. Something new! Very different from our past experiences together! Of course, they still had their moments of being teenage boys that day, but there was a small change that started then as I look back. They even wouldn't allow me to help them with the heavy stuff. I was pleasantly surprised.

Here's a little man with a lot of character. He's 9 and just adorable - most of the time. Here, he's helping us move the boxes into the new place.

There's not much to it, but it has a sink, running water and a bathroom which is great! I was even shocked to see screens on the windows! I've very rarely seen that here in Lushnje.

This is what it looked like after everything was unloaded and piled in the center of the room. It's covered with plastic because the painting was about to begin!

Here's Tim painting the ceiling with one of the older boys I had mentioned to you earlier painting the walls. It wasn't as professional as Tim would've had it being a pro in the States, but we know it was important that they were able to be a part of it.

Tracey (standing), a new Aussie on our team and Mona, the Albanian who's been a part of this ministry for 5 or 6 years now were helping out. The kids really liked the color and we could tell there was just something new going on and a good feeling in the air with all the new happenings.

I have done a couple simple murials on the walls and have one more to do. It's hard because I wanted to go and just be in their by myself and work for a good solid chunk of time to get it done, but the new place is right next to where they all live. So, anytime we go there, they see us and come and expect to go inside. Well, one time I went and tried to explain to them that I had to be by myself inside and work otherwise I wouldn't be able to finish it (if I had to watch them as well). They weren't too happy about that. They didn't understand and were getting angrier and angrier. Finally I said I was just going to leave. Then one of them started screaming at me. Thankfully, the older boy (picture above with Tim painting) came and asked me what was going on. I explained the situation to him and he understood and defended me and made them leave me alone. I am so grateful for this turnaround! A month ago, I was calling our pastor to come to my rescue from this same boy, now he's rescuing me from his own brothers and sisters! Only God could do it!

We start back up tomorrow. Right now, we're in a trial season of enforcing rules and consequences for actions. I think it'll be rough and very testing, but it's absolutely necessary if we're going to continue in this.

Some Godly advice needed

A question:

(Jamie speaking) No pics with this post. I hope that doesn't deter some of you from continuing. : )

There is this girl. She's 16. She's attended the little ministry we have for gypsy kids for years now, but she's always stood out to me. She's quiet, shy and respectful. I have heard her mother and aunt who she lives with are prostitutes. There was always a desire within me to reach out to her more than the two times a week we meet with the kids right now, but if other kids find out, they get really jealous and angry. Well, now that she's 16, she's been coming to church so after church one day, we brought her back to our house for a visit. It was really nice being able to have some one on one time with her and I felt alright knowing she's old enough now to visit our house with a reasonable excuse for the other kids since she's 3 years older than all the other girls. After the first visit, she came back the next day... and the next. One day I had in mind to just spend time with my girls, but guess who came over unexpectedly. She stayed for almost 4 hours. I have to practically kick her out every time. I think you get the picture. Now every time I see her, she asks when she can come over, and even on days when I've said I would be busy, she's showed up anyways. The thing is, we came here to minister to people like her. I've asked her if she has friends, she said yes, but I've never seen her with one and wonder if she did, why'd she spend so much time here? Knowing what I do about her home life, even from things she's expressed to me personally, I could see why she wouldn't want to be there. But where do I draw the line? Others have told me to limit my time with her so she would come once a week, but I don't think I can do that. This is the reason we came here, but it affects my whole family, not just me. My ability to cook, clean, spend time with them, and do other ministries. At the same time, how do turn her away, leaving her only to go back to her home where there is nothing to live for? An honest question. Please, feel free to comment. I will prayerfully consider every piece of advice!

Jamie