A question:
(Jamie speaking) No pics with this post. I hope that doesn't deter some of you from continuing. : )
There is this girl. She's 16. She's attended the little ministry we have for gypsy kids for years now, but she's always stood out to me. She's quiet, shy and respectful. I have heard her mother and aunt who she lives with are prostitutes. There was always a desire within me to reach out to her more than the two times a week we meet with the kids right now, but if other kids find out, they get really jealous and angry. Well, now that she's 16, she's been coming to church so after church one day, we brought her back to our house for a visit. It was really nice being able to have some one on one time with her and I felt alright knowing she's old enough now to visit our house with a reasonable excuse for the other kids since she's 3 years older than all the other girls. After the first visit, she came back the next day... and the next. One day I had in mind to just spend time with my girls, but guess who came over unexpectedly. She stayed for almost 4 hours. I have to practically kick her out every time. I think you get the picture. Now every time I see her, she asks when she can come over, and even on days when I've said I would be busy, she's showed up anyways. The thing is, we came here to minister to people like her. I've asked her if she has friends, she said yes, but I've never seen her with one and wonder if she did, why'd she spend so much time here? Knowing what I do about her home life, even from things she's expressed to me personally, I could see why she wouldn't want to be there. But where do I draw the line? Others have told me to limit my time with her so she would come once a week, but I don't think I can do that. This is the reason we came here, but it affects my whole family, not just me. My ability to cook, clean, spend time with them, and do other ministries. At the same time, how do turn her away, leaving her only to go back to her home where there is nothing to live for? An honest question. Please, feel free to comment. I will prayerfully consider every piece of advice!
Jamie
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5 comments:
Good morning honey, I am going to pray on this and then write you back. But it seems to me that she is crying out to you, for God's love I know it has to be hard, but you can't sacriface your family either. God has you there for these kids but there has to be bounderies. Love to Tim and the girls.
Love grandma christie
My advice, limited as it is, would be to use the Body of Christ. Find godly women to love on her as well. I am not sure what your church is really like or how many believers there are her age, but if there are- join them together. You can't do this alone- you need help. Your family is important and I don't think it is wise to sacrifice them on the altar of ministry. Look at all the amazing parents in the Bible who did that and it went badly for them: David, Samuel, Eli, etc. I pray God gives you and Tim wisdom to know what boundaries need to be set. They will also be healthy for her as well, as she shouldn't allow you to be her "savior". My heart feels and is burdened for you- may God's grace supply you all you need daily!
Love from Kosovo!
Hi Jamie, one thing I've noticed here is that in the end of it all, my family and children remain. After a lot of time passes, sometimes it seems all I've poured into someone results in nothing. And I see that I sacrificed the kids or the marriage. That's got to be first. It's hard to balance it all. Love you.
Tracy
Hi Jamie... I wrote you an email. I love you!
My Dearest Jamie,
after reading your blog about the 16 yr old girl, it reminded me of a similar situation many years ago. On one hand she feels comfortable with you and yet you also need your alone time with your family. Perhaps she can help you cook (or teach her how). Try to set limits. Please come over Tuesday from 2-5 and try to have her included in household chores. Also try to have some others in your ministry spend time with her. she's reaching out and needs guidence and home is not where she wants to be. It's good to open your heart but try to not bear all the weight. I'm sooo proud of you. I know you'll find the right thing to do. All my love, Aunt Gail
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